Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
