I think im going to throw up on grandma
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
should my penis look like a turkey
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
