epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
