Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
