Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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