Do you still have your period?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
