wakey wakey hands off snakey
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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