Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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