the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
