Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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