He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
