Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
