just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
