No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
only if we run a train.
done.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There r osticjed everywhere
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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