My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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