She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
