I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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