Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
And then my night got REAL pukey
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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