Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He better not be in your backpack
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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