So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
