how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
