that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
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