you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
