I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
