what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I want a musical about memes.
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