Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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