Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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