I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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