If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
