and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
