hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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