hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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