Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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