i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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