I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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