im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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