So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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