The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How does it feel to date your dad?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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