If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
