just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
