how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
