Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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