In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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