question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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