I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
