this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
