haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
