i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
