I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There r osticjed everywhere
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
