It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Randomize
