R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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